Valley Of The Trolls

last Friday I posted the National Review article Top 50 Conservative Songs called Rockin' The Right, and for the first time since my Neil Young post, I'm getting trolled. But this time it was much worse, in quantity and tone. Because you see, conservatives aren't supposed to listen to rock, and to comment on it is just blasphemy. I tracked the source of the trolls and found a multitude of profane bigotry that would make even the most devoted haters blush. I apologize for the language.

karpad said

you cannot simultaineously denounce the evils of popular culture and try to coopt it as supporting your cause. either Jazz is bad because it makes white women dance and smoke Mary Jane, or it’s good because it supports rugged individualist ideals.


fucking pick one, or I swear to almighty god, I will bash your fucking skull in with a fire extinguisher, stab your, let a pack of wild dogs have sexual intercourse with your stab wounds, then bash your skull with the fire extinguisher again

Jazz is great because it emotes the complexity of the musicans playing it. Just because I love Charlie Parker doesn't mean I have to approve of his drug abuse, which eventually killed him and all too many great artists. Besides, no one's stealing your music, I'll still let you listen. Just put down the fire extinguisher because we're well armed.

Nancy decided to attack me personally.

Here yah go everybody, rightwing blog boy gots your free NRO content online right here:
http://amboytimes.blogspot.com/ But just in case he wises up and douses the post, here’s the complete list complete with the idiotic commentary. I love how so many of the “conservative” songs are by people who the NRO crowd would truly despise, if they had half a clue. Fucktards.

Lefty's love that last word, to use it is to truly depise.
Karpad strikes again, this time he really loses it.

murder, Filthy Assistants. I’m going to shoot them with my bowel disruptor, set on “anal volcano.” I’m going to leave that shit in buckets made of the corpses of their family until it dries and hardens into bricks. I’m then going to shove said bricks back where they came from until the stomach acid covered dry turds push out their noses. I’m going to then set the entire mess on fire and put the fire out with with a combination of my urine and battery acid. I’m then going to shoot that burn wet mess with a vulcan cannon until I’ve dropped enough lead to cause birth defects in children in the surrounding 50 miles for the next 70 years. I will then drop a bus full of child rapists on the tattered, bloody remains/crater and then pour enough concrete over the entire setting to keep Chernobyl contained. I’m then going to write their names on their cement mausoleum with hot pink spraypaint. I will then drink cheap vodka and proceed to vomit and piss on said names, in that order. and no, I don’t think that’s even remotely over the top for punishment for their sins of profound stupidity.

Uday, is that you? I thought you were dead! Good luck with the vomit, piss and anal volcano, LOL!
Steve chimes in with,

The guy whose blog this is in is hilariously stupid.

My IQ is above average, unlike your writing skills.

LJP isn't embarressed by karpad's scatological rantings.

Y’know I think Karpad is right. I myself have been quite disgusted with Conservative Punk and their disgusting connections to hate groups like Protest Warrior. Next thing you know we’ll see “conservative industrial” — well that’s already happened with the extreme Zionist noise project Barzel, which seems to have “neo-conservative” stamped all over it…

Can you say anti-Semetic? Sure you can...

In the comments section of my post, 2wolves said,

Conservatives don't create new art. The "new" and the "art" parts scare them.

I majored in art. I fronted a punk band in the early 80's. Open your mind, just a little, it won't hurt. Amanda's commentary to various songs on the list,

The only real question is does this mean that when capitalists kill children, they do it with Jesus’ blessing? ....They should have just picked “Smack My Bitch Up”, because it conveys the same sort of message but in a much more digestible form.....Picking relentlessly at the Communist Bloc is not the way to endear yourself to the neocon establishment that adores their methods. I’m just saying....

Always sensitive and open minded....
Amanda's post is entitled, " 50 top conservative rock songs, subtitle “Quit calling us squares, you beatniks!” Actually, go ahead and call me a square, I'd prefer it to any of the myriad of foul words that frequent your site. Some of the comments were quite civil and I have to agree that some of the songs were a bit of a stretch. But why so angry? I'm sure Miller would admit that most rock lyrics are liberal, but to think that there are no conservative ideas in all of rock is even a further stretch.
In closing I leave you with the lyrics to the Blaster's American Music,

"We got the Louisiana boogie and the Delta blues/We got country swing and rockabilly, too/We got jazz, country-western, and Chicago blues/It's the greatest music that you ever knew/It's American music/It's the greatest sound, right from the U.S.A."